11 attitudes to avoid when a relationship is over - The Comprehensive Minds

11 attitudes to avoid when a relationship is over

11 Attitudes to Avoid when a Relationship is Over


Relationship is Over


When a relationship ends, a stage of our life also closes. Accepting this new reality as soon as possible will make it easier for us to face grief with greater dignity. In this way, we can remake our present to meet a new future with greater resilience. Now, achieving it is not easy, especially if we are the ones who are being abandoned. Hence, it is essential to avoid a series of attitudes and behaviors.


Often, it is said that a relationship brings joys, delights but also sufferings. We will all agree to it. However, there is one more nuance that we sometimes neglect. We will remember the most in the long run if that bond is broken how it all ended. If there are screams, reproaches, resentments, and even frustrated attempts by either party to resume the relationship, all of this is recorded in our mind as an anguished echo. A veil that takes a long time to remove.

There are good and bad ways to end a relationship. We are aware that there are many emotions at stake. Many doubts and questions that possibly remain forever unsolved. We must do it well, whether we are the ones we left or the abandoned. Let's avoid being trapped in that amber resin where many remain established for years suffering from that end, from that rupture.


1. Do not look guilty (and even less project responsibility on yourself)

Sometimes we do. We fall into those suffocating circles of thought, where we tell ourselves that we have done it wrong. That we should have acted in such a way. We repeat to ourselves that perhaps we were not made for that person, that we are failures in matters of love.


What good is this type of internal dialogue? Obviously, for one thing: to hurt us more. It is unnecessary to look for guilty, and even less to project that guilt on us to boycott our self-esteem. Sometimes, one of the two evolves in a different sense than the one that united you initially; love ends, and we can not do anything else but assume it.


2. Try to get back in touch

The relationship is over for both of them. An end is in evidence. Therefore, the most advisable in these cases is to give way to a duel to release emotions, vent, and proceed to acceptance. Now, if, far from assuming that reality, we remain obsessed with the idea of ​​trying again and contacting, we will shape a state that is as debilitating as it is frustrating.


This makes the situation even worse. We lose dignity and self-esteem, and we deny ourselves the opportunity to start over.




3. Think about how your life was before

When a relationship ends, it is common to get stuck in that recent past. We miss not only that person. Besides, we experience the emptiness of yesteryear routines, of those little details that orchestrated our lives. Now, we must reorder priorities, and the only real focus is ourselves.


It is time to move on, to turn the page, to create new experiences and memories. Don't read past conversations, nothing to check social media or email.


4. When a relationship ends, we want to "erase" all memories

Let's go little by little. It is not always necessary to delete everything that has to do with the other person: photos, gifts, objects, clothes. Just leave it there. Time will tell you when is the ideal moment, that moment in which to let go of the physical memories of yesterday.


Let's avoid doing anything when we are angry, hurt, or full of rage. The ideal is to wait and take distance because there is always something worth keeping.


5. Reinforce our grief with sad books, movies, or songs

Our brain will try. He will ask us to reinforce his suffering with stimuli that are at the same emotional level. Hence, sad or romantic movies attract us, songs that talk about impossible loves, etc. Let's try to impose new routines on ourselves. Let's make changes, incorporate new experiences, new goals, hobbies, etc.




6. Wait for it to appear

When a relationship ends, our mind is not convinced. The longing and hope are still there like pins bent on hurting us. So let's avoid feeding suffering by waiting for it to appear. Maybe walking down the street where you always were, going to the same restaurants, the same gym.


Let's avoid fantasizing about these possible encounters and apply a growth mindset. This stage is over, and I must start a new one.


7. Thinking that you are not worth loving

We often get frustrated. We tell ourselves that after that failed relationship, there is no going back. The best thing, perhaps, is to close the doors of our hearts and lock the key. Let's also avoid this kind of attitude when a relationship ends. What use is it to us? Obviously, to further damage our self-esteem.


We are people worthy of being loved, by ourselves and by whoever truly deserves us.


8. Turn the page also on social networks

That is an important issue when a relationship ends. If you have an active life in social networks, try to update your profile. Furthermore, as much as possible, avoid keeping in touch with your ex. In these cases, the preferable thing is to stop following that person to avoid seeing their updates, stop obsessing, wondering, hurting us.


Turn the page in your life and also on social media.


9. You can change your appearance, but do you need it?

When we finish a stage, it is common to want to make a change physically: cut our hair, dye it another color, change clothing style. All of this is positive if we need it. However, there is no obligation. There is no need to shape an image that has nothing to do with us.


Let us only seek to feel good. If that haircut can pull it off, go ahead. If what it causes is to create an appearance that does not identify us, better avoid it.


10. Extend the pain when a relationship ends


It will indeed hurt. It is normal to feel it because all these emotional experiences are part of the grief itself. And as such, you have to live it without anesthesia, without hot packs. So if you feel upset and sad, cry. It is essential to release everything that this break left to renew ourselves without negative charges. When a relationship ends, it is advisable not to extend those moments of pain for many days. Better a lot of intensity and a few days.




11. Be aware of the other person

No more. Don't expect me to call you. If you look at your mobile, let it be to see the time, but not to know if he wrote to you or if he is online. Don't start the gym or on a diet to appear more attractive and get their attention. Don't spend more than 10 minutes of your time thinking about that person. It is wasting time, dignity, and happiness. Remember that from now on, you are your priority.


Ultimately, when a relationship ends, it is best to leave the road free when it does not work. This way, you will have the opportunity to live your life differently and meet new people.

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